We all need to honestly consider our actions, all of them, before taking them. I've seen a lot of friends get hurt, both physically and emotionally because of miscommunication, misunderstandings, and sometimes, just lack of information.
Sometimes we hurt our friends inadvertently when it's the last thing we want to do. But if we don't carefully reflect on our actions and how they affect people, the damage can be done before we even know it.
Honesty.
Open communication.
Those are the two key components of healthy relationships, both with friends and significant others.
Sometimes we avoid direct communication in the hopes that troubles will disappear if we just ignore them.
Or we procrastinate and hope it will become easier to confront those troubles as time goes on.
But the longer we wait, the harder it often becomes.
And the more pain is inflicted as a result.
Don't underestimate your friends. You might think they don't know what's going on, but they do.
Do we want to hurt our friends?
I sure hope not.
4 comments:
dead on.
but i still don't understand how good intentions can lead to bad results.
cuz that just sucks.
I agree with pretty much all of what you say, and I think it's something that basically everyone can agree with. It all sounds so easy when you write it out. I mean, if it's so easy to write out & agree upon, then should'nt it be easy to follow? We all know that this subject is so much messier than that.
sometimes a person can try their best to be open & honest with someone... but what if that other person does not want to hear it? what if that other person refuses to clearly listen to the other?
I've had this happen a lot, with different people and various situations.
BOTH people have to be open with the communication.. and adults can't be handled with kid gloves forever. Or what if someone wants to live in denial, should we coddle and shield them from the truth? That isnt healthy. Sometimes you just have to force people to hear the truth, and hope they can be adult about it, and listen and hear it.
I hate hurting people, especially friends, but at the same time, if someone isn't willing to listen to reason... I am a firm beliver in "tough love", even though it usually hurts both parties. As well, people have used the "tough love"-theory and practice on me. And, in that case, it taught me a lesson. It was a painful time period, but a really good thing was learned, and it changed me.
It takes a real friend to tell you that you need help, to point out that you are messing it all up (says so in the GV song "Accountability Movements"). A real friend won't try to cover up the boo-boo with a fancy bandaid.
If only all friends could be honest with each other without fearing that their words will fall on deaf ears; it would make everything so much easier.
Why is avoiding so easy and first option most of the time?! GOODNESS it's aweful! You're deff. robbing yourself by not sharing your frustrations or hurts when they are present and secondly robbing your friends of them trusting you to be YOU to them. I deff. need more help in this area that i loose in! God be gracious!
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