The Sunday before Thanksgiving, my cousin Casey and her boyfriend Dan came by to pick Vicki and me up to go to my aunt's annual Thanksgiving dinner at her country club. It's pretty much 30 members of my family from my dad's side, seated at one long table eating Thanksgiving-style food, buffet style. It's pretty awesome, especially since it's pretty much the only time I get to see some of the extended family.
They came upstairs to see our apartment and chat for a few minutes before we headed out. It was discovered that Dan is big on bicycling and has done the STP (Seattle to Portland Bicycle Classic) a couple times, which leaves from Husky Stadium. This past summer the night before STP, which starts at 4:30AM on day 1, Casey and Dan slept in their car in the parking lot of Husky Stadium. We suggested that next year, they stay at our place.
What shocked me is they offered to sleep on the freakin' patio. They were joking, but deep down they probably said it because they don't want to impose on our hospitality.
I know it's not uncommon for people to make offhand comments like that, but I've never actually thought about the motivations behind them.
Why is it most people today can't accept kindness with thinking they have to offer something in return? I'm totally guilty of this myself. I feel bad if someone does me a favor and I immediately feel the need to pay it back.
If we truly have the character of Christ in us, we should be willing to serve others without expecting anything in return. We would be willing to give a friend a place to stay without feeling used or taken advantage of.
I know there's a fine line here, though. It's not black and white and many of us simply want to show our thanks by paying the favor back. But if the sole motivation is to "even the scales" or some fear of being judged as a moocher or whatever, then that's not cool. The fear only implies the belief that the person bestowing the act of kindness must not be giving with a true heart which, essentially, reveals judgment.
It shouldn't be that way.
Let's humble ourselves before God and remember that we deserve nothing in return, including hospitality and other acts of kindness. But to be hospitable and kind is compatible with the character of Christ, so loving God can only result in leading us to give to others, whether it is "payment" or not.
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