everything

This is an old song that I first heard a couple years ago when I was dating an atheist. He was a huge Lifehouse fan and got me more into their music. One day we were talking about love songs and he said he couldn't stand this particular song because it was one of the "cheesiest" songs he'd ever heard.

Back then my relationship with the Creator wasn't the greatest and I didn't immediately realize that this song might not even be about a significant other, but might instead be about God. The ex-boyfriend's opinion of the song tainted my own and I tended to skip it whenever it played on my iPod.

It seems so obvious now that it's about God. It is no wonder the ex couldn't understand it. If the lyrics are applied to a signicant other, then yes, one may say it's a bit much (but still very sweet). If applied to God, however, the lyrics aren't even an adequate description of His power.

The love of a significant other could never compare to the love of God.

EVERYTHING by Lifehouse

Find me here
And speak to me
I want to feel You
I need to hear You
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place
Where I find peace again

You are the strength
That keeps me walking
You are the hope
That keeps me trusting
You are the life
To my soul
You are my purpose
You're everything

And how can I stand here with You
And not be moved by You
Would You tell me how could it be
Any better than this

You calm the storms
And You give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won't let me fall
You steal my heart
And You take my breath away
Would You take me in
Would You take me deeper, now

And how can I stand here with You
And not be moved by You
Would You tell me how could it be
Any better than this

Cause you're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything, everything

reunion

Sitting on the floor there
Shivering from the cold air
My thoughts wander everywhere

Peace and hope that is not borrowed
Remind me of endless tomorrows
My burdens you willingly bear

Through the open window there
I let in more of the cold air
But now the shivering is spared

Thoughts turn toward your pain
Through your death we may obtain
Love that is for all to share

I close the shutters over there
Refuse to let in the cold air
And then my heart I do prepare

Ears are deaf and eyes shut tight
Now it is time to reunite
As my thoughts turn into prayer

spring

In the spring I like to walk outside through the avenues lined with cherry blossoms. Sunglasses shield my sight from the brightness, but also mute the colors of the blossoms. Magenta becomes pale pink. Pink transforms into white. I hear voices, faded and incomprehensible, I see children running to and fro. But I cannot hear them, for in my head is a personal soundtrack of wonderful melodies that has increased in intensity. I glance around me at the silence, at the energy, but only hear the crescendos of my heart.

music

you are rich dynamism
colorful and funky
and full of exquisite music
multifaceted resonance

my ears ache with joy
even the deaf can hear you
please keep playing
softly, loudly, loudly

i want to share you
love encompasses sharing
but i am human and flawed
it is difficult to share
especially something this grand

Rain.

Tonight after work while running errands, I stopped at one of the UW libraries to drop off books for a friend. It was almost 9:00pm, dark, cold, and raining. I chose not to bring an umbrella because I didn't think it would rain that heavily.

As I approached the book drop, I noticed how dead it was on campus. The library was closed and there was not a single person that I could see. As I turned away from the book drop, it started to rain hard. My glasses were covered in water droplets so I took them off because I could see better without them. I was standing under a dimly lit lamp post, about to turn away, when suddenly the opening notes to "Grace Like Rain" sounded from my ipod earphones.

I don't believe in coincidences.

So I stood there, alone, wearing only a thin sweatshirt and getting more drenched by the second, vision blurred and icy cold. And I decided to carefully listen to the words of the song. I'd heard it dozens of times, sang along to it in church, had the lyrics memorized. But it wasn't until that moment that I thought about what rain means to me. At that moment, rain meant more than just a weather phenomenon that forced me to use an umbrella. It meant more than one of Seattle's quirky trademarks. It wasn't just precipitation or the results of condensed water vapor from the atmosphere being stored up in the clouds and waiting to wash away the residue in the streets.

I thought about how truly cleansing it is, how in the lyrics of "Grace Like Rain," rain is equivalent to the grace of God. It is His forgiveness of us, even when we don't deserve it, it is His free gift of salvation, the sacrifice He made for us, it is His unconditional love of all of humanity, it is grace. And as I stood in the rain, feeling the drops fall onto my head, my face, my shoulders, my body, I understood.

The Cure for Pain

I just found out that a guy I went to high school with, Klinton Boylan, was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer, neuro-endocrine carcinoid cancer, in January 2007. In less than a year it has spread to his liver, bone marrow, lymph nodes, pelvis, spinal cord, everywhere. Last week it got really bad and after tests the doctors have estimated he only has a few more days to live.

I wish I had learned about it sooner so I could have prayed for him and his family. I hadn't even thought about him in ages but Vicki decided to look him up on MySpace randomly and that's how we found out about his condition.

He is only 23 years old with a wife and two beautiful children. I can't even begin to fathom the amount of pain, both physical and emotional, that they are in.

I am crying as I type this.

Lately I've been obsessed with the new Jon Foreman album, particularly the song, "The Cure for Pain." The lyrics are so fitting. Thank God Klinton and his family know and love the Lord. Reading about their ordeal in their blogs reveals how much faith and trust in our Savior they have had and continue to have.

The following is a blog that Klinton posted recently. It's so amazing that even in the midst of his pain and knowledge that he has just a few moments left on this earth, that he is using the little time he has left to glorify God. Read on:

"Oh for Grace

I know it sounds odd, but I have been blessed by having cancer. Yes I hate being sick and knowing that my wife, kids, family, and freinds have to watch me be in pain all the time. But I believe that God has blessed me with a better understanding of just how important life is and to truly know who holds each and every one of our lives in His hands. It is God and God alone who has the right and ability to condem or save. He has givin us this short time on earth to either love Him and bring Him glory, or deny Him and walk ourselves right into an eternity of darkness and pain. (hell that is) To all who don't know God and have denied His existance, now is the time to truly ask yourselves, "Where am I going and why?" We are not judged solely on sin, we all are guilty of that, but we are judged on wether or not we believe that Jesus is who He says He is and wether or not we are willing to repent and turn from our sins and walk His way, or deny Him His rightful place in our hearts and remain dead and ultimately hell bound.

Life in so uncertain. I never thought that I would have cancer and have to life my life this way. Nobody knows when or where or how they will die but we all will die one day and if we don't address what happens when we do die, we will be condeming ourselves already. Don't waste your lives on purposeless thing. Choose life whom is Christ before it's too late and that choice is taken away from you forever. I love you all and hope that we will all be together in the end. Please concider these things I have said. There's nothing more important than eternity.

sincerely, Klinton"
...

Please pray for them with me.

THE CURE FOR PAIN
Jon Foreman

I'm not sure why it always flows downhill
Why broken cisterns never could stay filled
I've spent ten years singing gravity away
But the water keeps on falling from the sky

And here tonight while the stars are blacking out
With every hope and dream I've ever had in doubt
I've spent ten years trying to sing these doubts away
But the water keeps on falling from my eyes

And heaven knows... heaven knows
I tried to find a cure for the pain
Oh my Lord! to suffer like you do...
It would be a lie to run away

So blood is fire pulsing through our veins
We're either riders or fools behind the reigns
I've spent 10 years trying to sing it all away
but the water keeps on falling from my tries




2 Timothy 4:6-8
For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the Righteous Judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love His appearing.

And I can't even whistle...